I hope you read the title and thought, NO!
Or at least thought; not really, not most of me, not much of the time.
Broken is used too much in our culture: I’m broken, broken heart, broken spirit, broken home, broke – when out of money, broken record, broken arrow*, broken bridges (in relationships), emotional break downs, breaking a mirror is bad luck.
We are the words we use and the words we hear over and over. Literally. You hear words of criticisms and self-judgments. They are transmitted to your brain, triggering a chemical cascade, which triggers sensations and emotional feelings which activates behavior including more thoughts. And then there is a conscious, or less than conscious, thought like, “I knew it,” “I told you so,” “I’m screwed,” “I’m a jerk “(or worse). All this validates beliefs that there is something wrong. With you. You are messed up somewhere inside. Broken.
Before you argue that broken only means that something is damaged and no longer in one piece (often true), therefore, can be repaired (also true), consider the implication of the word: the thing is not usable and may actually be beyond repair. When you say to yourself anything that implies your brokenness you set in motion the brain chemistry of disappointment, failure and hopelessness.
I invite you to challenge that notion. Things DO break. We do have our heart hurt so badly we feel like we won’t be able to do love again, go on, find hope.
Behind all brokenness is a divine wholeness that lives within you. In your cells, in the field of energy that fills and surrounds you. This something can’t be broken.Consider offering to yourself the language of wholeness. I’m fine, this will pass, this is not the way I want things to be, but it is what I face now. The more you transform your words the more you have a chance for living joyfully.
*Broken arrow is an accident involving nuclear weapons or supplies that does not cause a nuclear war risk. News to me! Thought I’d add it for those of you who also wondered.
This is how I captured the concept of brokenness in a poem:
Reconsider Your Broken Heart
Turn back and reconsider your broken heart Reconsider your brokenness When the vase tumbles from the counter And breaks beyond repair You reach for the rose, the iris, the ferns Pull them from the wreckage of glass Place them lovingly into a new vase The flowers reconfigure into a new formation Perhaps more beautiful than before Refreshed and rearranged Flowers that once thrust their roots down into the earth Gain strength from their arduous Search for nourishment through hard clay and stones Plucked from their habitat, resilient They reach anew to morning rays You are not your brokenness any more than the flowers are the broken vase When life leaves you cracked and scarred You can become sharp, frayed, rigid Instead love the disrepair of your heart Let your roots find nourishment in Faith and love and trust When you reach for your desires you must Break free from beliefs that hold you back Most importantly the belief that you are broken In any form Consider your heart strong or weak, Open or closed, scarred or beautiful Cracked or pristine but Do not consider your heart to be broken At least not broken beyond use Break up with your self-imposed ruler Break your rules Break your vows Break open Break open again Break everything but your heart Sally Churgel ©9/16/19